Minstrels, Killing Whales & Food

Minstrels, Killing Whales & Food

DON'T work for your sister, she’ll make you write a blog and when you try and do it you’ll realise that its very hard to turn the shite that’s in your head into something intelligible to anybody else but you.
Though if in the rare chance this is somehow readable I’ve already stated to Linzi that I want full rights over the book that it will inevitably lead to and probably subsequent tv show, but first things first…think of something to say.

Thinking about what you’re gonna say is difficult, I try but generally I just spurt out whatever comes into my head first and then worry about it after. Maybe immediately, maybe 7 years later when you cant get to sleep and your brain will happily remind you of the stupid thing you said all those nights ago. No one else probably remembers it, or maybe they do. Maybe every-time they see you in the street they think, “There’s that tube, mind what he said that time? dick!” Typing out such things and making them permanent really doesn’t seem like a good idea, that’s just creating evidence that can be used against ya! ...How many words is this so far?...

Sooo interests, interesting things….I got a rake of 2nd hand books and records the other day. Love getting pure nonsense records just to see what they sound like. Lots of old swing and tiki kinda music, bit of Tijuana Brass and a couple of Al Jolson boys. Now obviously minstrels are a bit of a mad thing looking back at it but they were just so ridiculous I had to get them. The records are from the 60s and the wee blurbs on the back are really trying their best to point out it’s not racist and fails miserably, like lads come on, even then you could see it wasn’t the best look.

Book wise, standard lad fair of books on war, Lancaster bombers, Leningrad and the like but also one on Nantucket, which I’m all about. There's something about whale hunting that’s just interests me, I’m not talking metal ships with harpoon guns going out and destroying loads of boys at once, but humans with wooden boats and hand made harpoons that managed to work out how to kill these huge animals and melt down their fat and use oil in their heads to light lamps. It’s lethal, just a bunch of loopers rowing out to stab a massive animal then going here burn that liquid coming out of it’s head, lets see what happens!
The book is also signed by the author who apparently wrote in the heart of sea too, it is about the Whaling Ship Essex which was the inspiration for Moby Dick, so all the whale literary craic lurking about! How it ended up in Oxfam books in Ballyhack, who knows but it sure, it’s mine now.

So I’ve been asking the girls what their gonna be writing about so I can try and copy them but they appear to be vastly more interesting than me but I’m pretty sure Becca’s will mention food so I’m gonna mention food too, here it goes..
Lunches To Go on Church Lane is the best place to get food in Belfast city centre. That’s a fact. It just is. It’s tasty, it’s cheap and the staff are lovely, if you think otherwise you’re wrong and you need to go take a look in the mirror and then ask yourself out loud why you are the way you are.

Ok so that’s minstrels. Killing whales and food covered, what else?

Spurs are wick, less said about football at the minute the better.

Axis Of are releasing a new record! That’s exciting! The lads haven’t played a show since about 2015 I think but have recorded some new material and hopefully will have some live shows coming up too.
I can't wait to be all buzzing for a gig and going mad like I’m 25 for the first 2 songs, until I remember I’m 35 and end up creeping slowly over to a table I can lean on, a big red sweaty mess in need of a Rennies and some water. It’ll be lethal!
I use to live with two of the lads from the band actually, and the dirty Dunluce Avenue house we use to live in just went up for sale. The house was pretty rank when we got it but we definitely only did things to make it worse rather than improve it. 
Looking at the pictures for the listing it still had the same tiles on the floor as when we lived there, carefully taken photos don’t show the bunch of them that are smashed from us throwing empty wine bottles into floor as hard as we could, good times. My old cd rack still appeared to be in the house photos too and I left there in 2013 or something, madness!

But yeah, that’s seems like enough of letting my brain fall out onto a page, if you’ve made this far I’m sorry, I’ve got to assume your just skiving from work or have ended up sitting on the toilet longer than you thought and it’s led you here but sure, you do you!
I’ll finish this off by going back to where I started
Don’t employ your brother, he’ll only talk shite!

- David

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